Frustration

As the title implies, I'm getting very frustrated with my education. I haven't flown in a week, despite two scheduled night duals this week, thanks to weather and availability of planes. Class continues to be a lesson in exasperation. We took a test today. Darren told us to study printed weather reports, so I did. And 10 out of the 11 test questions were actually about decoding weather reports. But the very first question was one involving a formula we hadn't previously discussed in class and had no way of knowing. Maybe you see it as nitpicking, complaining about 1 question out of 11, but that's the way this whole class has been so far. I feel like I'm constantly getting caught unprepared, despite my best efforts to stay up to speed. Thank God this is only a one-credit course, and that it's only 16 lecture hours total. If I can just hang on for a couple more weeks, it'll be over and I can get on with my life.

My frustration with the class is causing me to rapidly lose faith in Darren's abilities as an instructor. I'm supposed to fly a cross-country with him tomorrow, and I'm getting really nervous. I dread the thought of trying to learn what I need to know for the practical exam, from a guy who's having trouble teaching a one-credit weather theory course. I've already begun to try and come up with a really sly way to switch back to being Erin's student, just in case tomorrow's flight leaves me wanting to beat my head against the plane. I'm so worried I'm not going to be able to meet the exam requirements and learn all I need to know, before the end of the semester. Granted, if worse comes to worst I can continue with my lessons next semester without much difficulty, but I can't help seeing that as a failure on my part. I'm way ahead of almost all the other private students. I was moving along at a really good clip before Joshua took ill, and now I'm not even able to average one flight per week. It would be like walking a mile, only to die of thirst five steps away from the drinking fountain.

I realized, a few days ago, that if my attitude is right then all my studying and flying and X-C planning can be acts of worship to God. And it seems like since I first realized that, Satan has been working hard to drive me to despair and make my attitude anything but God-honoring. I really need to keep in mind that not only can I worship God with the things I do in school, but I can also be a missionary here and now, reflecting Jesus to Darren. After all, being a missionary is the point of all this. It's not flying the plane or getting good grades. The plane is just a tool. The classroom is just a tool. Sharing the Gospel is all that matters.

Please pray.