Health is in the eye of the beholder.

It's Thursday today, one week exactly since Thanksgiving. However, it's also one week exactly since I last felt good physically. I started having sinus/cold-type symptoms last Friday, after our brief early-morning shopping venture (see Jenny's blog), which then mutated into the most bizarre progression of symptoms I've ever experienced. Friday was congestion and sniffles. When I woke up Saturday morning, I had one of the worst headaches of my life, but the sniffles were gone. I spent the entire day trying unsuccessfully to shake the headache. When I wok up Sunday morning, my headache was gone, but I was having stomach cramps. By Sunday evening, my stomach cramps had somehow multiplied and moved into my shoulders, so I was having alternating stomach and shoulder cramps. BAD shoulder cramps. When I woke up Monday morning, my shoulder cramps were gone but I started having really bad stomach problems. Tuesday morning found me feeling substantially better, but still aware something wasn't right with my insides. And, finally, yesterday I went to the doctor (well, nurse practitioner) and got my diagnosis and cure. Unfortunately, she opted not to try and figure out all the previous symptoms, and focused on simply finding a solution to my stomach troubles. I would've really liked to know how someone finds himself the victim of such a weird and seemingly-random list of maladies, especially when those maladies caused me to miss an entire week of flight training and all but one day of work. Today's Thursday, and while I'm starting to feel better again, my treatment regiment the FNP put me on has left me feeling exhausted and weak. In fact, I'm done typing now, because the concentration is too much for me.

Eye of the Storm

As I mentioned in my last post, I was starting to come apart under the stress that's recently entered my life. Well, in what I now know was a pretty wise act of self-preservation, I asked Sally (my sort-of boss) for some time off work, and she graciously gave it to me. I didn't work Wednesday or Thursday, and I certainly didn't help wash an airplane this morning. Instead, I've been spending the time alternately unwinding and studying, and it's worked wonders for my stress level. My original plan had me back at work on Monday, but Sally keeps telling me I'm more than welcome to take more time if I need it. We'll see where things are at on Monday morning before I make a definite decision. We can always use the extra bit of money my job brings in, but my instrument rating has to have top priority in my life right now. So, we'll see. Thanks, you guys, for praying for me. I'm feeling MUCH better mentally.

The Death of Me

Instrument is taking its toll on me in a very dramatic way. The stress I've been feeling is really starting to manifest itself in my daily life, and I don't know what to do about it. It seems like this is just going to loom over me until I've finally passed the Instrument practical test. I guess I'm asking for prayer, because I truly don't know how to keep going until this is over.

This here's a little something I like to call "Western Civilization the Cochise Way"

Today, class, my talk’s on the dawn of the world,
And the lifestyle of primitive man.
And I think, when I’m done, you’ll probably see
Just how full of bologna I am.

Now the topic, though based in historical fact,
Must be broached by my making a case
For the thought that our forebears were probably joined
By little grey people from space.

That’s right: guests from the cosmos most likely came down
And established Atlantis to serve
As a center of knowledge for primitive man.
You just have to admire my verve,

For I boldly assert that Atlantians taught
Our ancient ancestors to build
All the pyramids and wonders in history books,
Just before the Atlantians were killed

By a nuclear meltdown or maybe a bomb
That went off on their small continent.
‘Cause their alien science was better than ours.
It was meant for mankind’s betterment.

As the Epic of Gilgamesh so clearly states
The Mesopotamians had flown
In space-alien airplanes transparent and round
Unlike any today’s world has known.

But after the blast that wiped out their home,
The Atlantians prob’ly had traveled
To Egypt, along with their wondrous know-how.
Now the mysteries of time are unraveled.

Those pyramids out on the hot desert sands
Weren’t really the tombs of dead kings.
In fact, they were for fueling Atlantian ships
And some other incredible things.

So you see, class, our history lessons are much
Like the scripts from that show, The X-Files.
You’re dismissed now. Hey, wait! I’d just like to know
Why you’re wearing those cynical smiles.

Madness

Have you heard about this new movement to make Santa Claus be skinny in order to set kids a better example? Am I alone, or are you shaking your head at it, too? I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm fat. I'm a big fat guy. I jiggle when I walk. Heck, I jiggle when I breathe. I've been a fatty since I was in the third grade. Coincidentally, I also believed in Santa when I was in the third grade. I absolutely must make it clear, however, that Santa's weight had no bearing whatsoever on my choosing the lardy lifestyle. I never, ever said to myself, "Boy, oh boy, wouldn't it just be swell if I could be a big fat guy like Santa." In reality, there were three main factors that influenced my decision to be corpulent, and none of them was Santa. Rather, they were, in no particular order, pastry, fast food, and candy. Don't get me wrong; I always liked Santa, but only because he bought my affection. I was a big fan of his generosity, but I can't say I ever admired (or even cared about) his weight. If I ever wanted to be Santa, it was only so I could have unlimited access to that ultra-sweet toy factory. The fact that there are people out there who honestly believe Santa's weight is a factor in the obesity of the grade school crowd, is just a little bit beyond ridiculous. I'll even go one step further and point this out: When overweight folks see a bunch of lean, sexy, beautiful people in the media, we're not motivated to slim down; we're only encouraged to feel bad about ourselves. Those images are simply fuel for the already-brilliantly-blazing self-hatred deep within us. And when we see a skinny person who USED TO BE fat, it's so much worse. If the idiots spearheading this movement are successful, they're only going to give chubby kids one more reason to feel not-good-enough. That being the case, it can only be concluded that Santa already IS a positive example for kids, because he's jolly and bright and kind, despite being morbidly obese. Those who think he needs to shed some pounds have obviously been duped into believing looks are the most important thing in life. And so, I'm forced to say, "Shame on you, America. You just keep getting dumber and dumber."

How to Ruin an Afternoon

Step One: Be a hardcore perfectionist.

Step Two: Attempt to plan an IFR cross-country that's well beyond what you've been taught, because you're required to.

Step Three: Finish the planning to the best of your meager abilities, knowing it's not right.

Step Four: Let it really eat away at you that your planning isn't right and there's nothing you can do to improve it.

Step Five: Allow the thought that you purposely took a zero on a term paper, to seep into your already-troubled mind and bother you even more.

Step Six: Go upstairs, put on some old James Taylor music and silently fume, while your spouse and friends are eating cake (in honor of your birthday) and ice cream, and playing games downstairs.

It's been some kinda weekend so far. I was supposed to write two papers this weekend, one for Creative Writing and one for Western Civ. And this is where I had to start making some tough decisions. My priority here MUST be aviation. If that gets lost in the shuffle, then we really need to wonder why we're still here. My practical test for my Instrument Rating is coming up in the next month or so, and it includes a 3 1/2 hour oral exam, so I really need to be reading and studying. Writing 2 papers really eats up study time... you can see where this is going. After crunching some numbers Friday morning, I determined that if I took a zero on the Creative Writing paper, I would still have an 85% in the class, with 3 more units and a final project to boost that grade into an A. So I resigned myself to taking the zero. Unfortunately, the Civ paper is worth about 20% of my total grade for the class, so I had to write it. That's not to say, though, that I had to write an award-winning masterpiece. I sat down at my computer and, in less than 2 hours, hammered out a four-page clunker. Again, I don't need 100% on the paper; my current grade is good enough that it can easily survive any grade, other than a zero. And so, having dealt with my papers by early Friday afternoon, I spent a big chunk of yesterday reading the instrument procedures section of the AIM (Aeronautical Information Manual). That's not to say I finished the section (it's pretty involved reading), but I'm a lot closer to the end than I was before the weekend started. After church today, I have to plan an IFR (Instrument Flight Rules) cross-country to Casa Grande, so Belinda can be sure I know how to do it. I have 3 cross-countries to fly before I take my practical, so it's important that I get the planning skills down ASAP. And now I have to go get ready for church.