Failure

I was sitting in Erin's office this morning, filling out my flight plan and expecting to be taking off in the next 20 minutes. Everything was looking good, except for my confidence level. After talking to Erin about my fears, we decided it was probably best for me to pass on the cross-country today. Erin told me to do a local solo instead, and to stay up as long as I wanted working on maneuvers and things. I wound up spending all of about 30 minutes in the air. As I started my takeoff roll, I realized I hadn't been in a plane by myself since my last cross-country flight. That flight took place over a month ago and, if you'll recall, it was a difficult, frightening flight for me. Since keeping a plane in the air is much easier than safely putting it back on the ground, I decided to start my solo time with some touch-and-go's. I did five in all, a couple good ones and a couple bad ones. Then I decided that was long enough for my first solo in a month. And from the moment I taxied off the runway, I felt like a colossal failure. In fact, I'm sitting here typing this and still feeling like a colossal failure. In the end, though, I suppose it's better to call off a cross-country I don't feel good about, than to force myself to go and make a foolish and dangerous mistake because I'm all nerved up. Thanks to everyone who prayed for me, especially my father-in-law. Thanks, Terry. Your assurance that you'd be praying for me meant a lot to me.